I ran into an amazing sample sale this weekend. It was filled with crazy markdowns of different local and foreign designer brands. I riffled through the racks totally in my element enjoying the thrill of the hunt, while trying on beautiful quality clothes. For me, paying as little as possible for relatively expensive things is intoxicating. I’m not necessarily drawn to big designer brands; I gravitate more toward attainable luxury but have a real appreciation for unique clothing and personal style. Alas, I walked away with nothing. Not because I didn’t find pieces I loved, but because I couldn’t justify the spend. I was already pushing past purchases from previous sample sales and pop-ups, to grab comfy tees and joggers to bring Sunbeam to playgroup. I just didn’t have a reason to wear these clothes.
Still looking for a reason to wear this top I found at a sample sale for $40. They included a cute asymmetrical tee as a gift with my purchase, also which I haven’t worn yet.
Once upon a time I would just shop, with no specific event in mind. I could do so knowing I’d always find an occasion to wear something, because at some point I would be going out with my girls. We were always getting into something that called for getting dressed. While I do not miss the club, and have no desire to be in a club like environment, I do miss the ritual of “going out”: The shopping, pulling my look together, hair, makeup, getting ready for hours with music and wine. Better yet, meeting up with the crew and getting dressed together. The pregame. The photos. The confidence. Looking back, it felt like an afternoon of selfcare. But as you outgrow the club and the thrill of being on the scene, the flashiness tied to it all gradually fades, as you move from clubs to bars, to restaurants, before happily choosing evenings in. Weddings become the closest thing you get to that vibe.
When I peruse social media I see all these fashionable stylish moms and women over 40 showing off their daily looks. I find it so inspiring, but also sooo far from my reality. This could just be one of the drawbacks to being a SAHM, but I would never be able to pull off any of those looks. Shoes with my toddler!? I need footwear with grip, my child gleefully runs in the opposite direction when she finds something to put in her mouth, and is intensely working on jumping, everywhere. Sunbeam gets all my style energy, while I just try to stay dry. I thank God New Balances are back in style, because I wear my 530s OUT. I wish I could throw caution to the wind and just wear what I wanted. Show up to playgroup in a nicely layered ensemble, but kids are sticky and I’m usually sitting on a floor.
Now don’t get me wrong, my husband and I go on lovely dates where we occasionally get done up (see my birthday post. I bought those pants several months earlier at a sale, score!). But usually when we get an evening to ourselves we like to keep it on the casual side so we experience the city uninhibited, hopping on and off trains, exploring wherever we land. While keeping in mind we have to get back home before 11:30 pm to relieve the babysitter because trains stop running at midnight (crazy right!?). I’m also a member of a social club that has events of various dress codes all the time, which we have gone to in the past, but not regularly enough to justify buying random things. These days, all my purchases need to have an intended purpose or be versatile enough to be worn casually. Which seems fair given that style overall has generally become more casual—but mostly because my life has too.
Date night in my 530s! Found the green cape in a local shop for $60, it’s become my go to jacket.
My friend group out here is great, but trying to coordinate an evening out with everyone is nearly impossible. We’re all juggling hectic schedules, both locally and internationally. When we do manage to finally get out, we prefer a low-key evening, —after all, we’re all busy raising kids. Trying to expand my circle to find friends who share my interests in fashion or shopping is a whole job (see previous post). To be honest, I’m exactly sure what I’m looking for—maybe someone who occasionally enjoys getting a bit more dressed up then usual, but no pressure. Someone who’s okay with going to nice restaurants or events, but no clubs or anywhere too loud. I also prefer not to be out too late … so maybe just brunch!? I wonder if I might just like the idea of dressing up and going out, more than the reality. Besides, trying to find friends in your late 30s or 40s who want to go “out” is very difficult —even in a bustling city with endless options— because we’re at home, and for good reason. It just makes meeting people with similar interests harder, leaving me to awkwardly approach cool looking moms at Gymboree while not looking very cool myself.
As someone who LOVES to shop, and who is living in the fashion capital of the East, it is hard to resist cool finds. Maybe I’ll start sharing them here —at least that way, others can appreciate the treasures I find even if I have to leave them behind.
